Finding Meaning in Jewish Tradition: Why I’m Not Fasting for Yom Kippur

Many of my thoughts on the ritual of fasting were developed through a Deep Dive experience I was able to have through an organization called GatherDC. Several of the sources I’ve included here were gathered together and used in the source sheets in the Deep Dive class and some of the alternative ideas came from the class as well.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve fasted from food for Yom Kippur. In elementary school and middle school, I did it once or twice, and I’ve done it once or twice as an adult. The last time I fasted was two years ago with my partner when we also attended synagogue services together for the High Holidays for the first time.

Growing up, I was never really told much about fasting and I wasn’t told that I had to do it. I decided to do it when I wanted to and decided not to when I didn’t. Until I was an adult, there wasn’t really any intention behind my choice to fast from food or not.

I’ve been trying to be more intentional and meaningful with my Jewish practices – I want Judaism to feel meaningful to me. So, this year I participated in a High Holidays class so I could learn more about the holidays and make some decisions about how I wanted to mark them.

In this class, I learned A LOT.

On the topic of Yom Kippur, the Torah states: “you shall practice self-denial” (Leviticus 16:29-30). It doesn’t say in what way you should practice it – that came later, when rabbis in the Talmud decided it should be practiced through fasting from food as they saw that as a huge form of self-denial.

Rabbi Ilana Zietman wrote in 2019 that “fasting is a way to make us feel more vulnerable and unguarded… Our fast today is meant to be contemplative, but not reflective of unworthiness.”

Granted, I haven’t fasted very many times, but in all the times I have fasted from food, I’ve never found much meaning in the ritual, nor did I feel very vulnerable or unguarded. I mostly remember thinking: wow, I’m really hungry and I can’t wait until the break fast. I was definitely engaging in self-denial, but is that enough for me, personally, to continue on with the ritual as is?

When I’m fasting from food, I don’t spend much time contemplating who I am and who I want to be; rather, I really spend the time thinking about how hungry I am and trying to find ways to distract myself from being hungry.

On the other hand, I find myself being able to think more clearly when I’m cooking or baking. Because I’m passionate about those things, I’m sharp and focused and in the zone. When I’ve got down time during my cooking and baking, like while something is in the oven or I’m just stirring something on the stove, my brain is still turned on and going, and I can focus on other important and meaningful things.

Long story short: fasting from food just doesn’t inspire me to be reflective and contemplative – if anything, it’s a distraction from that for me.

However, I certainly do have other distractions in my life I could fast from, and I know there are ways I could be intentional about being contemplative during Yom Kippur. I thought others may be interested in this as well, as there are a myriad of reasons why someone may not be interested in fasting from food but would still want to mark Yom Kippur in some way.

Of course, none of this is to say that fasting from food is NOT a meaningful way to mark Yom Kippur! For anyone who finds meaning in marking Yom Kippur this way, that’s so great. I just know that I personally have had so much trouble (and mixed feelings) about being able to connect with this holiest holiday because I felt I couldn’t really find meaning in fasting from food. I’m writing this to hopefully tell others that they aren’t alone in that if they’re feeling the same way and that you can find meaning in other ways if fasting from food isn’t your jam.

Fasting from Social Media

This alternative way of marking Yom Kippur was mentioned by Julie Thompson. Personally, this kind of fast really appeals to me, as social media plays a huge role in my life and it would be a significant self-denial to stay away from it for 25 hours during Yom Kippur.

I also think it is particularly relevant to Yom Kippur as we are supposed to be considering what kinds of people we want to be and if we’ve lived up to that in the last year. On social media, we may be projecting an image of ourselves that may be one we like or don’t like. We can take the time to decide if 1) that image actually reflects who we are, and 2) if we want to work on ourselves in some way because of that image.

The other upside of taking a fast from social media is that this reflection won’t be clouded by what we see of others on social media, which is not necessarily their reality. We get to sit with ourselves (and perhaps some of our loved ones) without the distraction of what others are projecting on to social media.

Fasting from Productivity

I write this recognizing that not everyone can take off work and that many folks have other “productivity” obligations that need to happen on Yom Kippur. But for those who can find ways to fast from being productive, this can be one way to ritualize self-denial.

I also think that this is really dependent on how you view accomplishing things. I personally generally get something out of knocking things off of my to-do list (no matter how small) and (real talk) place value in myself based on my productivity. So, a fast from productivity can be beneficial, because I am able to take away this distraction to focus on who I am, what I have actually accomplished and were those things actually good (maybe I harmed someone or something through my accomplishments?), and who I want to be through my accomplishments moving forward.

The intention of this is to give yourself time to put thought into your actions in the past and present and what actions you want to take in the future.

Writing Your Own Eulogy

A little morbid, I know! This was an option that Rabbi Ilana mentioned in our Deep Dive class through GatherDC: you write down what you would want someone to say about you if you died today. What kind of person would you want to be remembered as? What would you want to have accomplished? The goal is to get you thinking about who you are today, who you want to be and what you want to do, and what steps you can take to get there.

Deciding how to mark a holiday is a very personal decision and, hopefully, can be one filled with meaning and intention. Yom Kippur is an opportunity to reflect on ourselves and our decisions, and make amends to others (or ourselves!) and changes to our lives so that we can be the people want to be. Fasting from food is one way in which you can be inspired to reflect on these important topics, but there are many ways (even ways beyond those listed here) that you can work towards contemplating the past year and who you want to be.

I also want to offer one more option for anyone who chooses not to participate in fasting from food because they are suffering from, or in recovery from an eating disorder. Click here to find a ritual for eating on Yom Kippur.

I would love the hear your thoughts on the ritual and tradition of fasting for Yom Kippur. How will you be fasting in some way this year? Let me know in the comments or message me at @thejewishvegan on Instagram. And, as always, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to reach out.

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